


The New God

by Spinswanda2319



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Destiel - Freeform, Developing Relationship, Doomed Relationship, Drinking, F/M, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Minor Character Death, Platonic Relationships, Protective Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester Whump, Season/Series 15 Spoilers, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25275412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spinswanda2319/pseuds/Spinswanda2319
Summary: God is finally dead.The final battle should be over, but when is anything ever easy for team free will?
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Comments: 9
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I haven’t edited too much and this is my first fanfic (actually I posted one on fanfiction.net ages ago, but still), so if it’s subpar, that’s why haha Mostly posting for fun and if there’s interest, I’ll keep posting.

God sneered as Jack loomed above him, his eyes glowing gold.

  
“It’s over,” he said raising his hand.

  
Suddenly, Chuck’s expression changed, his eyebrows raised, his hands raised above his head.

  
“Wait!”

  
But it was too late, the golden glow became a blinding light and then, Chuck - God - was gone.

  
Swaying on his feet, Jack mumbled, “It’s done.”

  
“You did good, kid.” Dean said, catching Jack in his arms.

  
A slow smile spread across Jack’s face, “Yeah, we did.”

  
Jack looked up at Dean, his gaze clear and unperturbed. Maybe this is it. Maybe we’re finally okay. He saw Castiel’s smile, a rare sight. But if Cass is finally content...

  
Half-expecting the Empty to manifest and ruin this fleeting, happy moment, Jack whipped around, searching for the aggressor. Which form would it take? Would he have time to say goodbye to Cass? Maybe the Empty would go back to sleep. That’s all it wanted anyways, right?

  
“You okay, kid?” Dean broke his thoughts.

  
“Um...yeah.”

  
“It’s going to be okay, Jack.” Cass smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes.

  
“Are you okay, Castiel?”

  
His eyes darted toward Dean, then to Jack, “Of course.”

  
The Empty would still come, Jack thought. Cass wasn’t completely happy. Something was missing. Sighing, Jack wished he could simply enjoy this moment. Dean forgives him. Cass is here and somewhat satisfied. Sam is still by his side, always has been. Chuck is gone. And the balance wouldn’t be thrown off since Amara agreed to leave this dimension and never return. Dean had convinced her somehow.

*********  
“I knew you’d show.”

  
Dean felt her presence as soon as she materialized. He couldn’t put it into words, but he always knew when she appeared. He didn’t turn around until he knew she was close. Stunning was an understatement. Her hair was swept in an elegant bun, her ebony black dress hugged her body like wisps of ominous smoke, like the darkness she embodied. She reached out to caress his face.

  
Turn away, you idiot!  
Why did she always have this effect on him?

  
He stood there, dumbly, and anticipated her touch. Intense pleasure. He inhaled sharply before opening his eyes and meeting her longing gaze.

  
“Dean,” she whispered, “It’s been too long.”

  
“Yeah,” he managed.

  
She was close, so close he could almost taste her.

  
“You’re going to kill him.”

  
A pause.

  
“Yeah.”

  
Then he grabbed her face and kissed her hard. Old feelings came flooding back, her taste was forbidden, something he thought he’d never have the pleasure of feeling again. He couldn’t help himself around Amara - their torsos touched, time and distance created a gap they closed immediately with physical intimacy. Dean’s fantasies of Amara came to life before his very eyes. He lifted her dress and she unbuttoned his shirt - it didn’t matter that they were in the middle of nowhere, in some goddamn field in Kansas. She explored his body with her nimble finger tips, every touch caused explosions of ecstasy to reverberate through Dean. He could barely breathe, all he felt was the darkness. Suddenly, the image of Cass waiting for him by the tree in purgatory flashed through his mind.

  
“You’re hesitating. I thought we were past this.”

  
Pulling back, Dean suddenly became aware that they were, in fact, in the middle of a field in goddamn Kansas, about to do the deed in the dirt.

  
“Uh, yeah.”

  
Amara sighed, as if she knew this would happen.

  
“I was hoping we’d have a chance to do this before you had that boy kill me,” she remarked calmly as she pulled up her dress.

  
“What?”

  
“Oh, Dean, don’t be coy. You know my brother and I either co-exist or don’t exist.”

  
He frowned, “I do care for you, Amara, but…”

  
“He’s become a problem. A big one. Trust me, I know.”

  
Kicking his boot in the dirt, Dean mulled over their options.

  
“You’re powerful...can’t you create...I dunno, your own world?”

  
“You’re not worried it’d go to my head?” she handed him his shirt, which he sheepishly accepted and quickly buttoned it up, “I’m staying.”

  
His heart sank. Deep down, he knew he couldn’t kill her, even if he wanted to.

  
“Just until it’s done. Then I’ll leave.”

********************

“Where’s Sam and Amara?” Jack asked.  
When they were sure Jack would finish Chuck for good, Sam escorted Amara away. She tried to be strong; after all, she did once try to kill the self-bloated bastard herself. But he was her brother.

  
“Yeah, where is Sammy?”

  
“Are you hoping Amara didn’t leave without saying goodbye?” Cass gave Dean a look.

  
Dean chose to ignore him.

  
“Sam?”

  
Where could he be?

  
As if out of nowhere, an all-too-familiar voice drawled out, “Looking for someone?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh. Guess who’s in trouble?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, just for fun but I’ll post more if there’s interest lol Also, I’m bad at titles in case you couldn’t tell hahaha

Quick as the wind, all three men turned to the source of the sound. Amara and Sam had arrived all right, but someone else had too.

“How the hell are you alive, you son-of-a-bitch!” Cass and Jack had to hold Dean back.

“It’s God now. But you can call me Lucifer.” He was wearing a new meatsuit, one that looked especially like Chuck, but wasn’t quite him, all at once. 

“Custom-made.” He held a long, thin blade against Sam’s throat. “You like it?”

He eyed Sam like he was his prey, “Although, there really is only one vessel that truly suits me.”

Dean could see Sam’s chest heaving up and down, his eyes darting toward him.

“Whatever he says, don’t-”

A yank to the hair had Sam yelping in pain.

“Quiet, Sammy, the grown-ups are talking.”

Castiel stepped forward, gently pushing Jack behind him. 

“What is this, Amara?”

She ignored him and disappeared. And suddenly she materialized behind Dean and whispered in his ear.

“I’m sorry. I got a better offer.”

Dean felt the air leave his lungs in one, swift motion. How many times had he been betrayed? Used? Abused?

Yet, he couldn’t will his muscles to move, couldn’t pierce a dagger straight through that lying bitch’s heart. The world seemed to stop. This was no time to dissociate, but Dean couldn’t help it. After all they’d been through, is this how it had to end? Castiel’s shouting brought Dean back to the present. 

“Jack, wait!”

But it was too late. The blinding, yellow light of Jack’s powers turned Amara into a glowing mass of burning flesh. And then nothing. A weight lifted off of Dean’s shoulder. A part of him had died, but he felt lighter because of it.

Sam’s desperate screaming cut short Dean’s brief moment of relief.

“Okay, well, now there’s no balance, you dopes.”

Lucifer held Sam tight as Sam tried to claw away from his grip, to no avail.

“Say yes, and this can all end.”

Scowling, Sam remained silent.

Lucifer rolled his eyes, “You’re all so boring, so predictable.”

He threw Sam to the ground and stepped on his chest, effectively pinning him to the ground. 

“We’re going somewhere no one will ever find us.”

Cruelly, he pushed Sam farther into the ground, smiling as Sam screamed out in anguish. Dean snapped into action and ran to his brother’s side, brandishing an angel blade.

Flicking his wrist to the side, Lucifer easily disarmed Dean.

“Again, predictable, come on!”

“I’ll kill you!” Dean fumed, red with rage, Jack and Castiel close behind him.

And before Jack could end it all, Lucifer and Sam disappeared.

“No…” Dean fell to his knees where Sam was just moments ago. He pounded his fists into the ground. Slamming and beating until he finally crumbled into himself. He didn’t look up when he felt Cass’s hand on his shoulder.

“Dean…”

There was nothing he could say. And he knew it.

Jack kept a safe distance between the two men and tried to hold back his tears. 

Dean would never forgive him after this. Never.   
  


**************

Sam jolted awake as panic flared through him. As his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, he tried to regain his composure.

_I was with Amara._

He tried to move his hands and feet, but he quickly realized he was bound tightly to a chair in what looked like some sort of library. Bookshelves lined the walls and a few candles contributed their moody lighting to the dull glow of the room.

_We arrived on the scene when Chuck was dead. She could sense it._

Sam tugged at his bonds to no avail.

_Then, he was on me. Chuck - no Lucifer - had me at his mercy almost instantly. Somehow he had managed to take over Chuck’s vessel. Who knows how long he had control. Maybe Chuck wasn’t the villain after all._

Sam shuddered, his years of torture and despair in Hell threatened to invade his mind.

_No, I’m fine, I need to focus._

He closed his eyes and imagined all three of them looking at him with such trepidation, such fear.

“Dean and company won’t be coming to save you this time.”

It’s as if he could read Sam’s mind.

_Well, he can._

Slinking into the dim light of the room, Lucifer, now somehow donning Nick’s form, sauntered over to one of the bookshelves and lazily leafed through a book.

“What do you want?”

“Oh, Sammy.” he looked up from the book, a sickening smile forming on his lips.

Sam shifted uncomfortably in the chair, trying to remain stoic despite the hammering of his heart.

Lucifer leaned forward until he was almost touching Sam’s face.

“I want you, bunk buddy. Always have, always will.”

Shuddering, Sam closed his eyes, willing it to all go away. He could feel Lucifer’s hot breath on him as panic began to take over his senses.

When he finally opened his eyes, he was staring straight into the devil’s soul. His smile was gone; instead an expression of twisted depravity formed on his features.

“And this time, I will break you.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Destiel. Angst. Hope?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully people find this interesting or at least enjoyable? I’m having fun writing in any case lol. We’ll see how it goes.

“Dean.”

Dean packed every conceivable weapon he had into his duffel bag.

“Dean.” Castiel tried again.

All he got was a grunt in reply.

“We need to think about this.”

“Cass.”

Castiel knew that warning in Dean’s voice. He knew it all too well. But he persisted.

“We can’t rush into this blind. Jack is still recovering. He’ll need our support and we need him to win this fight.”

Dean slammed the duffel bag onto the table.

“Dammit, Cass! You think I don’t know that?”

Crumpling into himself, Dean sagged into the chair by the table and put his face in his hands. As much as he hated seeing Dean in pain, Castiel let him wallow. It kept him still, at least. 

“After everything…” Dean finally says.

Castiel didn’t interrupt, but placed his hand on Dean’s shoulder. And then, without looking up, Dean reached out and reciprocated the angel’s touch. A very human leap of glee fluttered in Castiel’s chest. Dean didn’t usually return gestures of physical affection. Well, neither did Castiel. But he didn’t dare bring attention to it. He wasn’t sure how long they remained this way, when Dean’s phone rang. He startled and sprung into action. Castiel gracefully glided back, making sure to give Dean enough space. 

“Yeah?”

His eyebrows furrowed as he sighed.

“Can you get to the bunker? You’re gonna wanna hear this in person.”

Examining the lines on Dean’s aging face, Cass couldn’t help but think he was still beautiful. Perhaps not as fresh-faced as he once was, but every line, every feature, every scar told a story - an often sad but wondrously hopeful story. And his eyes; Castiel understood why humans claimed eyes were windows into the soul. But they were also doors. Heavy, steel doors that were impossible to break through.

“I don’t know if he’s okay. I’m sorry. Just, get here when you can.”

Dean didn’t look up when he addressed Castiel, “Eileen’s coming. Probably would’ve been better if she never came back here.”

“Dean?”

“I mean, she’s just gonna get more hurt. But she deserves to know, I guess.”

“We will find Sam. We always find a way.”

Finally, he met Castiel’s gaze. His green eyes brimming with tears, he mumbled, “I don’t know, Cass. I don’t know if we will.”

He turned and headed for his room. Castiel didn’t follow.

***************

Sam sighed as he flopped onto the bed. He had to admit, it was exciting to go on a hunt again and it was good to see Dean, but there was nothing like here, here at Stanford, with Jess. This was where he was meant to be. He opened his eyes when he felt a warm, sticky liquid on his forehead.

There, on the ceiling, sprawled Jess, her face frozen in terror, her limbs burning, the sounds of screaming-

His eyes shot open and he was staring at Dean, sitting in a crappy chair in a cheap motel. He didn’t say anything at first.

“You okay?”

Blinking furiously, Sam tried to slow his breathing. 

“Jess…”

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. 

“You haven’t mentioned her in a while.”

“What?”

He got up and went to the bathroom sink to splash some water on his face. Something wasn’t right here. Jess…

A pang seized his heart, but somehow he knew Jess was in a better place now. It had been years...but that wasn’t right either. He witnessed her horrible death only days ago. Squinting in the mirror, he noticed he looked different, older. Not old, old, but certainly not 22.

“Sammy? You alright?”

Flashes of memory came back like an old timey film. Grainy and discombobulated, but authentic. He gripped the sides of the sink and braced himself.

It’s not Dean, he reminded himself.

Popping his head in, Dean frowned with concern.

“Sam?”

Refusing to meet his gaze, Sam simply gritted his teeth and said, “Get me out of here.”

Sighing, Dean turned away.

“Too old-school, huh? Not fresh enough.”

Sam’s blood felt like ice. Despite every urge he had, he looked up and saw Dean turn around, grinning maniacally. 

“Well, it doesn’t matter. After all, I’m just getting started.”

His face swirled and stretched into a grotesque mass of skin, and Sam suddenly felt sick. Falling to his knees, he descended into darkness. 

The bliss of unconsciousness didn’t last. It never did. Sam groaned as he regained his bearings. His mouth felt dry, like he hadn’t drank in hours. Or could it be days? It looked like he was still in the musty library. 

Still tied up too, he thought, as he wearily tugged at his restraints.

He wanted to care, he really did, but how many times had he done this? How many times had he fought, and fallen, and suffered, and died? He didn’t usually succumb to despair this quickly. But every time they ganked Lucifer, he found a way to creep back into their lives. His life. From the moment he was born. Death would be a blessing, but it was hidden behind a paywall he could never hope to afford. Still, he had to try. He couldn’t give up on his family and friends. What would they think if they found him dead - or worse, as Lucifer’s vessel.

A surge of strength filled Sam’s core. He would never let that happen again. Never.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I told you. He's an angry sleeper. Like a bear."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shorter chapter and later update! Hopefully, I can be more consistent in the future. Thanks for reading and I hope you like it so far!

That night, lying on his bed, Jack wiped his tears as he thought about everything he had done wrong. All the people he had hurt. As he sat up, he tried to push these thoughts aside, but that was easier to think than to actually do. He desperately wished Sam was here, beside his bed, giving him advice and reassuring him. He remembered the sinking pit he felt in his stomach when Sam didn’t return with the group in apocalypse world. The helplessness he felt when he partially healed Sam after Nick’s ruthless attack. The incredible guilt he experienced when Lucifer presented him and Sam with an impossible choice. 

“Jack.”

Jack blinked as he registered the imposing presence in front of him.

“Billie?”

“We have a problem. What happened to Amara?”

“I…”

Billie crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow.

“She’s dead, Jack. I reaped her. That wasn’t a part of the plan.”

“I know. She was going to hurt Dean. She betrayed us and gave Sam to Lucifer.” He responded slowly.

“You’re becoming more of a Winchester everyday.”

Jack thought that was meant to be an insult, but he couldn’t help but feel a small swell of pride surge within him. Just as quickly, the swell dissipated; how could he call himself a Winchester after what he had done?

“In any case,” Billie continued, “There’s a new vacancy that needs to be filled.”

Castiel hadn’t moved from the war room since his conversation with Dean. Someone had to be here for Eileen’s arrival. Someone had to keep watch and be alert. He didn’t sleep so he might as well play watchdog. He sighed as he paced the room. Sometimes he wished he could crumble like humans, even if for a moment. He had his dark moments. He’s screwed up - badly - and plenty of times, but he never let anyone see his hurt. He ran away or lashed out instead. He often wondered what it would feel like to sit down and weep.

“Castiel.”

Finally, a respite from his tiresome thoughts.

“Jack, what is it?”

“Billie was here. She-”

“Billie was here? What did she want?”

“She needs someone to be the Darkness. Because I…killed Amara.”

Patting Jack’s shoulder, Castiel reassured the boy. “You did what you had to.”

Jack frowned, the crinkles on his forehead aging him much faster than they should. What would Jack’s life be like if he was fully human? Castiel had gone down this road before when thinking about Sam and Dean and the way their lives had unfolded. He preferred not to stay on that road for too long. 

“If you say so…”

Before Cass could turn away, Jack stopped him.

“Castiel, is Dean okay?”

“He will be.”

“Will we be okay?”

“Of course, Jack. I promised your mother-”

“No, I mean me and Dean.”

“Dean is a complicated man. Give him some time.”

As if on cue, Dean strode into the room. There were dark circles under his eyes, but he seemed to be in brighter spirits. 

“Eileen will be here soon.”

“Who’s Eileen?”

Dean grinned. “Oh, she’s Sam’s...special friend.” 

“Why doesn’t she stay here like Cass does?”

Dean’s face went slack and he sputtered, “We asked her to stay. She had to leave because-”

Dean’s cell phone rang, saving him from answering the question.

“Because reasons, okay?” He finished before he answered the call, “”Hello? Yeah, I’m coming up now.”

“He’s angry,” Jack said as Dean walked up the bunker stairs, “Should we make him coffee?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, Sam :,(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Jean-Ralphio voice* “She’s the wooooorst.” She’s me. I’m the worst.  
> Sorry for the late update, but I hope you enjoy some angst!

With a startle, Sam jolted awake when he heard the doorknob rattling. He reminded himself to try and stay calm, but his heavy breathing betrayed him. All he could hear was his pounding heart in his ears, the fear pumping through his veins like a cold poison. He didn’t want to believe who he saw burst through the door.

“Dean?”

“I gotcha, Sammy, hold on.”

He cut the ropes loose as Sam processed his rescue. 

“Dean-”

“We don’t have much time.” Dean said as he helped Sam to his feet. 

Stalking across the room to the door, Dean checked the hallway before gesturing for Sam to follow. Sam’s limbs had atrophied from being forced to sit so long, so he stumbled to the door, but Dean steadied him. 

“Come on, Sammy, you’re all I got.”

Sam frowned. “What happened?”

Averting his gaze, Dean sighed and said, “Amara took Jack’s grace and then...Cass tried to stop her but-”

“What?”

Jack, the boy who prevailed despite everything, the boy who reminded Sam so much of himself, the boy who he loves like a son, gone? For good this time? And Cass, their constant companion, gone, just like that? There’s always a way to bring a Winchester back, but something about Dean’s tone made Sam fear this time was different. Final.

Suddenly, a figure as fast as a bullet was upon them, and Sam and Dean were forced to the ground. Still regaining his senses, Sam struggled to hone in on their assailant.

“Lucifer.”

“Can’t get away from me that easily, Sam.”

He grinned as he gripped Dean by the throat. 

“Say yes, or I’ll kill him.”

Before Sam could respond, Lucifer wagged his finger at him and said, “Ah, ah, ah, think hard about this one, Sammy. Cass isn’t here to make the deal instead - not this time.”

Dean groaned as Lucifer’s grip tightened around his throat. Catching his eye, Sam could tell by Dean’s look that he was pleading. Pleading with him to let it all end. Sam knew he couldn’t say yes, he knew Dean wouldn’t want him to, but…

“I…”

“Tick, tock, tick, tock.” Lucifer taunted as Dean’s face grew red and his struggling became feebler. 

“Please…”

Then somewhere in Sam’s mind an alarm went off, warning him of something. When he looked up again, Dean was gone and Lucifer loomed above him. Sam tried to scramble back but found he couldn’t move - he was back in the dusty, old room tied to a goddamn chair.

“You snake.”

“I’m just showing you what will happen if you say no. Wouldn’t you rather your family be safe?”

Biting back a retort, Sam simply looked away. Sighing, Lucifer paced the room, looking around at the dusty books and ill-lit candles.

“You know, this is getting pretty boring. So predictable. I mean, I’m God now, I can do whatever I want, but I have some unfinished business.”

He looked over at Sam.

“Silent treatment, eh? Aren’t you curious?”

Sam couldn’t help himself. “How long were you him? Chuck?”

“Oh, not long. So if you’re wondering if he hates your guts too, yeah he did. We finally had a common enemy. But you know I’m not one to let go of grudges so easily.”

He sauntered over to Sam, relishing in his growing fear.

“I could do whatever I want right now. But I’m here with you. You should feel honored.”

“Cut to the chase, Lucifer.”

His smile slowly faded as he gripped the arms of the chair and leaned forward toward Sam.

“Number one on my to-do list is to jump your bones, Sam. I take it all back, I’m not done with you yet.”

Sam kept his eyes trained on Lucifer’s cold, blue stare not because he was brave or defiant, but because he was afraid of what would happen if he didn’t have the devil in his sight at all times. 

“You’ve fought me every step of the way. You threw me back in the pit. You left me for dead in apocalypse world. You took my son and turned him against me and had him burn old Nick here to a crisp. And now, you have the audacity to say no?”

He was inches away from Sam’s face now and all Sam could see was the road to hell etched in the devil's eyes. 

“I can’t give up.” He managed.

With a cackle, Lucifer straightened out and made his way toward the door. 

“Ball’s in your court now, champ.”

He turned to look at his prize one more time before leaving. “But know this - everyone you love will die if you keep fighting. Sleep tight.”

He snapped his fingers and the ropes binding Sam tightened even further over his raw wrists and ankles, causing him to cry out. And then he was gone.

Gritting his teeth, Sam shifted uncomfortably in his prison. Maybe Lucifer was right. If Dean or Cass or Jack tried to rescue him…

Alone with his thoughts, Sam felt a single tear slide down his cheek. 

  
  



	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is always a way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah, hope you all like this! I’m getting pretty invested even though I’m just sort of writing this by the seat of my pants lol Also, has everyone watched the trailer for the rest of the season? I think I might die lol

When Dean opened the door, Eileen greeted him and gave him a quick hug.

“Hey, Eileen. It’s good to see you.”

“Same.”

When they came down the bunker stairs, Eileen wrapped Cass in a hug as Dean watched. He wasn’t that awkward angel who didn’t understand human emotion anymore. He embraced Eileen like any friend would - no fidgeting like he didn’t know where to put his hands, no stilted movements like he didn’t know how long human interactions were supposed to last - and Dean loved him for it. 

“Hi,” Jack waved, “I’m Jack.”

Eileen spoke and signed. “Hi, Jack. I’m Eileen. Nice to meet you.”

Brows furrowed, Jack asked, “Why do you do that?”

“Kid, don’t be rude.” Dean cringed. The vacant awkward angel position had been filled quickly. 

“No, it’s okay. I’ve been Deaf almost my whole life. This is how I communicate.”

“Oh. I can help heal you if you want.”

Hands outstretched, Jack stepped forward, but Cass stopped him.

Smiling graciously, Eileen added, “Thank you, but this is a part of who I am.”

Sam sure picked a good one, Dean smiled wistfully, but the thought of his brother reminded him it was time to break the news. Before he could get a word in, Jack continued the conversation. 

“Like being half-angel is a part of me.”

“Half-angel?”

“Yes, he’s a nephilim, part angel and part human.” Cass explained.

“Wow, well it’s great to meet you, Jack.”

“Can you teach me to...do that?”

“Signing? Sure. You remind me of Sam.” She turned to Dean. “Where is he?”

Rubbing his temples, Dean tried to figure out what to say. This would’ve been so much easier over the phone, but Eileen deserved to hear it from him. In person.

“He...he’s gone.”

After a moment of silence, Eileen whispered, “Chuck?”

“No, he’s dead. But something happened, I don’t know how…”

“It seems he made a deal with Lucifer.” Cass saved Dean. “I don’t know how they mended their ways so quickly, but he’s back. And since Chuck is dead, he’s playing God now.”

Eileen’s eyes widened. Sam never talked about what had happened to him in the past much, but she knew it had to do with Lucifer and that he had done things to Sam that he would never recover from.

“So, Sam is…”

She couldn’t help it, she choked back a sob. Dean’s face hardened. 

“He’s not dead.”

Cass nodded. “We always find a way.”

Giving a half smile, Eileen simply nodded and then asked how she could help. She directed this question to Dean, but the hunter found he couldn’t say a word. One more and it would all come spilling out. Again, his angel saved him from answering.

“We’re still figuring that out. We can’t jump into this blindly. Besides, I don’t think Lucifer will kill Sam yet.”

“But he’ll torture him. Try to make him say yes. Make him be the Darkness or some crap, I don’t know. But we don’t have time. We need to act now!”

They all stared at Dean, and he realized he was shouting now. Anger was easier to unleash than sorrow. He didn’t apologize; instead, he mumbled something about research and then went to the kitchen for a glass of whiskey.

That night, Dean decided he was going alone. Sam may have been Rowena’s apprentice, but Dean knew how to whip up a tracking spell or two. Lucifer probably had Sam locked away under some intense warding, but it wouldn’t hurt to try. Digging through the wealth of materials and resources the bunker had to offer, Dean found a contraption similar to the pendulum Bobby had used all those years ago and placed it over a map of the US. Hopefully, it would function the same way. And hopefully Lucifer didn’t hide Sam away in some wonky fourth-dimension or friggin’ overseas or who knows where else.

Dean said Sam’s name and then chanted the ritual as quietly as he could. As much as he teased him for it, he was glad his nerd of a brother had recorded the spell in their dad’s journal. Nothing happened. Dean closed his eyes in anguish.

But when he looked once more, he saw that the pointer was swinging. And then it stopped. Over Lawrence at Stull Cemetery. 

“Well, I’ll be damned…”

Not only did it work, but Sam was about a four hour drive away. Although, Dean had to admit the Devil was a sadistic freak, going back to the place where it all began. Bags already packed, Dean just had to quietly get to the impala and he’d be golden. He turned around and found himself face-to-face with beautiful blue eyes.

“Dammit, Cass, you scared me.”

“Dean.”

He pushed past him. “You can’t stop me, Cass.”

Grabbing his arm, Cass forced Dean to listen, if only for a moment. 

“I won’t stop you. Because I’m going with you. And Jack and Eileen are too.”

Sighing, Dean turned to face his angel. His eyes were oceans of life and love and loss. And Dean couldn’t swim any longer or he would drown.

“I can’t lose him, Cass.” 

“I know.”

He hadn’t shrugged him off yet, and Cass desperately wanted to stay this way for a long while. He felt himself succumbing to human emotions. 

He pulled Dean into a tight embrace. The hunter’s arms were strong for a human, and he smelled nice, like whiskey and sandalwood. Cass patted his back and then released him, gazing into his eyes. Right now, they were windows.

He leaned in closer. When Dean didn’t step away, Cass considered his cupid-bow lips. He had always thought Dean’s lips would look equally well on a woman, with their delicate size and shape, but the surrounding stubble reminded Cass of his strong arms and convictions, his outer shell shielding someone soft and loving.

He cautiously caressed Dean’s face with his hand. “We will find him. Together.”

And then Cass pecked Dean’s cheek, glancing as he pulled back to see if the windows had turned into slamming doors. The waiting seemed to last a lifetime as Dean just stared back at him. 

But he didn’t move away. Thoughts of the Empty and Lucifer and pain and death tried creeping through Castiel’s mind, but he pushed them back as he glanced Dean’s way once more. He kissed him again; their lips meeting this time.

At first, their kiss was gentle, but a primal urgency pushed them to unfettered passion. Dean grasped the nape of the angel’s neck as he let his body take over. He hadn’t felt this way in ages; the ability to just feel - no worries or intruding thoughts - was the closest he had been to heaven (and he’d  _ literally _ been to heaven). Opening his eyes, he saw those crystal blues staring back. 

“Cass…”

Shame threatened to steal this moment away from him, but the angel smiled. Damn, he adored that smile. It was something he didn’t see too often, so when he did, the world felt right. 

“We should wake the others.” 

He squeezed Dean’s hand before leaving to get Jack and Eileen.

A pang of guilt brought Dean back to reality. Right now, his number one priority was finding and saving Sam. But Castiel sure knew how to motivate a guy. Dean smiled. There is always a way. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sam, why are you being so nice to me?”
> 
> “Because I know what it feels like to feel like you don't belong, to feel like there's this darkness inside of you, to be scared of who you are, what you can do. Dean, Cass...my family helped me through that. So now I wanna help you. Because you're not evil, Jack.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the inconsistent updates! I just started a new job, so I’ve been settling in, but I haven’t forgotten about this fic. I foresee a few more chapters. Hope you like it!

Sam stirred awake when he heard the doorknob jiggle. Straining his eyes, he tried to make out Lucifer’s visage in the darkness, but he couldn’t see a thing. All he heard was his own ragged breathing. God, he was thirsty. He couldn’t even say that anymore, could he? 

God. How could it have all gone so wrong? How could God be so cruel? Sam supposed a lot of people thought this, hell he even thought it a few times before meeting the guy. But he did meet him. And he was selfish and wrathful and evil. 

The door made a slight noise again. 

“What do you want, Lucifer?” He croaked out. He would kill for even a drop of water to soothe his parched throat. 

Suddenly, a stream of light blinded Sam as two men walked into the room. When his eyes adjusted, he noticed the all-too-familiar flickering of black eyes - demons.

Letting out a harsh laugh, Sam readied himself for the inevitable onslaught.

“Shut up.”

“This is the best you got?”

Sam’s retort earned him a punch in the face.

“She said not to hurt him.” The other one said. 

“We don’t wanna get caught either, jackass.”

They proceeded to free Sam. Instinct told Sam to fight and escape, but his body, dehydrated, exhausted, and wounded, betrayed his better judgement. His punches were laughable at best as he was easily subdued by the two demons.

One of them gripped him by the chin and growled, “It would be real easy to leave you here.”

Smirking, Sam didn’t break eye contact until the demon let him go. Then, they dragged him to the door and into the hall. Sam shuddered as he remembered the vision of Lucifer choking the life out of Dean, the light slowly leaving his brother’s eyes, and then the awful realization that he would’ve said yes. 

All the times he said no were difficult, and the one and only yes was necessary. At least, that’s what he was led to believe. But that time in the makeshift cage, when he absolutely believed God (when he knew him to be powerful and good) had sent him there, when the blindfold was ripped from his eyes yet again, when he said he was ready to watch his friends and family die - he wasn’t lying. But it was never less painful to watch those you love sacrifice themselves for the greater good. 

And after everything, when they were so close to ending all of this cosmic bullshit and returning to the old days of hunting monsters and saving people, Lucifer reveals himself yet again. Sam clenched his fists. No, it would be more painful for everyone if he said yes. Then what?

Steadying himself, he decided to change tack. He groaned and slouched forward, forcing the demons to work harder.

“Oh, come on…”

“Told you! This isn’t worth it. I’m out.”

Expelling himself from his vessel, the demon left in a huff of thick, black smoke. The remaining demon shook Sam’s shoulder.

“Come on, man, Rowena’s gonna kill me!”

“Rowena?”

“Yeah, man, she sent us to help you out but-“

He stopped and turned to look back.

“Rather get roasted by Rowena than Lucifer, though.”

“Rowena sent you? Wait!”

But the demon was already gone, the vessel dead on the ground next to Sam and the other unlucky victim.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Sam wanted to scream. He had a chance to escape and he had just ruined it.

Unless it was all a trick.

Weakly, he rubbed his palm. Real or not, he had to get out of here.

*********

“Cass?”

“Yes?” He nearly jumped. He wasn’t usually like this. 

“Everything good back there?”

“Of course.”

Dean grinned but scowled when he saw Jack staring listlessly through the Impala’s window. 

Dean adjusted the rear view mirror. 

“Kid?”

“Yes, we’re good.”

Cass sighed. He shouldn’t be worrying about his own fate when Jack had confided in him before he left. 

Dean had asked Eileen if she was okay “holding down the fort” while they were gone.

“Yeah, I think it’s best if I…” her face darkened as she remembered stabbing Sam as God watched and Sam told her everything was okay. She laughed to chase the memory away.

“Someone needs to watch the bunker and look through the lore, am I right?”

Dean embraced her and said, “You’re a real good one, Eileen, you know that?”

Cass had simply watched, half-expecting the Empty to jump out and snatch him; he’d be gone in seconds and no one but Jack would be the wiser. He needed to check on him.

“Jack?” Cass rapped on the doorframe before stepping through.

“Castiel.”

“It’s time, Jack. Are you ready?”

Big and blue frightened eyes stared up at him.

“Castiel, what if I’m not strong enough? What if I hurt someone again?”

Smiling, Cass sat down next to Jack on the bed. 

“Jack, that’s your human side, your soul. And it’s a beautiful thing. You have the power to defeat Lucifer, and we will be by your side every step of the way.”

Jack swallowed. “And then what?”

He looked up at Cass and said slowly, “Will I be...the new God?”

“One step at a time.” 

He clasped Jack by the shoulder and nodded, but before he could get up, Jack wrapped him in a bear hug.

“Thank you, Castiel.”

He did not see Cass’s eyes glazing over as he held his son close.

Now, he needed to act like a father.

“Jack, you can do this.”

“Kid, we need you. Sam needs you.”

Turning away from the endless landscape of dark fields and the occasional headlights of strangers driving through the night, Jack met Dean’s eyes.

“I know.”

Sam needed him. Sam, the first one to truly  _ see _ him. The first one to fulfill his mother and Castiel’s promise to raise him in the light and accept him and the darkness within. He didn’t chase the shadows away; instead, he acknowledged them and saw past them. 

“Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“I will save Sam. You can believe in me.”

Smiling sadly, Dean simply said, “I know.”

Now Cass found himself looking out the window. Once they saved Sam and defeated Lucifer, Dean would be happy. He would be happy. And so, he decided, he would burn the moment he kissed Dean Winchester in his brain and imprint it in his memory like the handprint that raised the hunter from perdition. So he would always remember. 

Because a memory was all he could allow himself now. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst. :’)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s not what you think, I promise lolol

Rubbing his palm as he stumbled through the dark, Sam couldn’t believe Lucifer hadn’t caught up to him yet. Or maybe the devil had and he didn’t know it yet. Or maybe none of this was real.

_ Stop, you’re fine. You’re fine. _

He tripped over something in the dark and hit the ground hard, breaking the fall with his elbow. He groaned in anguish as he heard a sickening crack; his body screamed at him to stop running, to stop fighting. 

Breathing hard, Sam found it difficult to remember why he needed to keep going. All he could focus on was the searing pain in his elbow, the dull ache in his bones. He was tired. So, so tired. 

“Oh, Sammy! I’ve got a surprise for you.”

The instant chill of fear and panic was the only reminder Sam needed. 

He braced himself against the wall with his good arm, trying his best not to scream. He desperately wanted to take a minute to collect himself, but there was no time. There was never enough time.

And then he heard it. Images of flying limbs and red eyes flashed before him. The bright blaze of hellfire illuminating their bloody and bruised bodies as they fruitlessly fought to protect him.

“No…”

Slowly, he hobbled toward the source of the yelling, but he knew he was weak, far past the point of being the hero everyone so desperately needed.

He kept going.

In what seemed like hours, Sam finally approached a large archway leading into the heart of the crypt. The dying embers of torch lights cast an eerie glow over the devil’s face as he towered over his victims: a battered hunter and a broken angel.

“Sam, you finally made it.”

It took every drop of strength Sam had left to not instantly collapse from the cold dread spreading like an icy river through the frozen wasteland of his heart. 

“What do you want?”

“For everyone to lighten up a bit. Come on, now!”

Lucifer sighed and made a show of rolling his eyes in annoyance.

“Okay, fine.” His smile dimmed as he stepped forward, his foot grazing over Dean like he was a squashed bug. 

_ Dean, please be okay. _

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I can give you everything you’ve ever wanted, Sam. Your parents, your lady friend, Eileen, is it?”

Sam grit his teeth but didn’t say anything.

“I’ll even fix up Dean-o here and what’s-his-name.”

He quickly glanced at Cass’s motionless body and then focused all of his attention on Sam.

“Together, we can be the most powerful being in the world - the universe - and no one can stop us. Not Rowena, not Amara, not even dear old dad, may he rest in peace. All you need to do…”

He was close now. Sam could reach out his arm and almost touch the dark angel if he wanted to.

“...is say one simple word.”

Dean stirred awake. “Sammy…” 

To his credit, Lucifer ignored him and patiently waited for Sam to answer.

Finally, Sam said, “What makes you think I’ll say yes?”

“Well, I did make it easy for your friends to find you. Rowena’s smart, but I could’ve made it way harder for her.”

He turned back to look at Dean.

“Even Dean found you. Because you know where we are, Sam, don’t you?”

When Sam refused to respond, Lucifer feigned a fit.

“Oh, come on, Sam, it’s more fun when you guess! We’re at Stull Cemetery, where it all went down...literally.”

He laughed, but his grin quickly disappeared as he said, “But I can tell you’re not in the mood for games.”

Suddenly, Lucifer had Dean at his mercy with a snap of his fingers. With Lucifer’s hand wrapped around his neck, Dean startled and gasped for air as his life slowly left him.

“Stop!”

Sam leapt forward, his voice rough. But his weakened body wouldn’t allow it; he crumpled to the ground below the devil’s feet. He could taste the awful word on the tip of his tongue. No matter how much he tried to swallow it down, it threatened to spill out and destroy him. 

“Please, I’ll say it, I’ll…”

Shame welled up within him like an uninvited disease. Would he really subject himself to that torture again? The pain and abuse? The unwanted advances? 

“Sammy, no-“ Dean grunted as Lucifer tightened his grip around the hunter’s throat.

“What’s that, Sammy? Ready for round two?”

“Yes.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack faces the ultimate test. Also, Rowena is a bad-ass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told ya it’s not what you think lol One more chapter left. Also, it’s gonna be open ended and a little angsty but hopefully more bittersweet than sad! :,)

Basking in the golden glow of glorious power, Jack raised his hand like a prophet passing on ancient wisdom to devout believers. 

“Yes, I’m ready for round two. Are you?”

Lucifer snarled. 

“I’ll kill him.”

Dean weakly swatted at Lucifer, but couldn’t break free. Face flushed and eyes fluttering, he was fading fast. 

“Unless you kill us all first.” Lucifer challenged. 

Jack said nothing but kept his hand raised, his power on the verge of unleashing absolute fury. 

“You wouldn’t.”

“Don’t underestimate the boy, Lucifer.”

Surrounded by an army of demons, the Queen of Hell materialized under the archway. A warrior queen with hordes of men who would die for her without a second thought, Rowena smiled as she surveyed the situation. 

“You bitch!”

Sputtering, Dean fell to the ground as the devil raced toward Rowena. Eyes red, the devil appeared in front of her, but before he could enact revenge, she was gone and the demon army was upon him. 

“Sam.”

Dean crawled over to his brother.

“We got you, Sammy.”

By this point, Cass had regained consciousness. He met Dean’s eyes and nodded before continuing onward to support Jack.

Meanwhile, Lucifer had slaughtered hundreds of demons. Blood dripped down his hands in crimson rivulets as he laughed maniacally. 

“Did you really think a few demons would stop me?”

Suddenly, waves of static sound echoed through the air. Time seemed to slow as the chamber filled with golden light. The devil screamed into the void, cursing Jack and clawing toward him, almost reaching, almost cutting. The nephilim’s shoulders hunched in concentration, chest heaving, drowning in the power threatening to swallow him whole. Ever the stalwart companion, Castiel remained by his side.

“Don’t let go!” Jack cried.

Tears streamed down his face. He couldn’t see anything. All he heard was the awful screaming - guttural sounds only known to haunt creatures from the beginning of time or before. All he felt was a deep, throbbing pain. He knew he should stop but he didn’t dare let go lest he lose control and sink into something darker than the blackest night. A strong anchor helped him keep afloat, but barely. 

He was drowning. 

Until he felt the anchor rise. And then again. He blinked and saw Castiel. And then Sam and Dean. And then nothing at all.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff and angst. :,)  
> There is always a way.

“Sam?”

Eyes wide, Sam gently laid his hands on Jack’s shoulder.

“Jack, how are you?”

“I’m…”

He noticed Sam had tears pricking the corner of his eyes.

“Why are you crying?”

He laughed, and his forehead crinkled as he smiled.

“I’m just glad you’re okay. Thank you, Jack. You did it.”

Memories came flooding back but he quickly pushed them down. He sat up and looked at Sam.

“Jack? You can tell me anything, remember?”

Jack smiled. 

“I know.”

“I’ll go tell the others you’re awake.”

Wincing as he rose, Sam turned to leave.

“Sam?”

“I’ll be fine, Jack. It’s nothing.”

“No, it’s not that…”

How to put this? Would a simple thank you convey everything he felt? 

“I…”

He couldn’t help it; he started crying. Sam rushed over and wrapped him in a hug, reassuring him with comforting words.

“Thank you, Sam. For everything.”

“Of course. We couldn’t have done it without you.  _ I _ couldn’t have done it without you.”

  
Later that evening, the crew gathered in the library for a celebratory meal. Dean brought some beers in for everyone and Cass and Jack set the table. 

Sam and Eileen brought in the food from the kitchen they had made earlier as well as the burgers Dean made.

“Sam?”

“Mm?” He turned to face Eileen, precariously balancing several dishes of food.

“I’m sorry about what happened between us. I just needed time and then you were gone and-”

Sam set the dishes down and gently took what Eileen was carrying, placing them back on the table.

“It wasn’t you, Eileen.”

“I know. I just…”

Looking up at him with doe eyes, she gathered the courage to ask. 

Taking his hands in hers, she said, “I really like you, Sam. And I know you’ve been hurt in the past. Me too. But in this life…”

She looked away, unable to continue.

“I’m scared too. But I’m willing to try.”

She smiled and said, “Me too.”

Then, he kissed her, softly. Fingers entangled in Eileen’s dark locks, Sam explored her familiar taste. He hoisted her up to his hips and set her on the table. She giggled but gave in enthusiastically to his passions.

“Woah.”

Sam abruptly stopped and turned to find Dean with a big, stupid grin on his face. 

“So that’s what’s keeping the food.”

Blushing furiously, Sam muttered something as he grabbed the dishes and hastily made his exit. Eileen smiled coyly and followed suit. 

At the table (once Dean had stopped teasing Sam and Sam had stopped letting Dean bug him), Dean raised his beer in a toast.

“To team free will 2.0!”

Everyone raised a bottle in solidarity.

“Let’s eat!” Dean clapped his hands together in anticipation.

Once they had their fill and the chatter died down, Jack uneasily cleared his throat.

“So...I’m the new god now.”

Silence.

“We’ll be there every step of the way.” Cass said. Sam nodded in agreement.

“Does there even need to be a new god?”

Castiel frowned, “Dean?”

“Think about it. With Amara and Chuck gone, and no crazy archangels trying to take the title, balance doesn’t matter. I mean, the balance isn’t off because they’re both gone.”

“He’s right.” Sam said.

Castiel nodded but said, “Yes, but there will always be someone vying for power. Are we prepared to deal with that?”

Eileen shrugged. “There’s always been things to hunt and there always will be.”

Squeezing her hand, Sam smiled and said, “Eileen’s right. What do you think, Jack?”

Jack beamed. “Yeah.”

Then, Dean’s phone rang. As he got up, he patted Jack on the shoulder. “It’s how it’s always been. Saving people and hunting things. The family business. It won’t be easy, never is, but…”

“We have each other.” Sam finished his brother’s thought. “Alright, Eileen and I will clean up in the kitchen.”

“Oh I bet.” Dean quipped and then answered the ringing telephone, “Yup?”

Eileen stifled a laugh as Sam turned bright red. 

“It’s Jody!” Dean announced. “How are the girls? Donna?”

As Dean continued chatting with Jody, and Sam and Eileen scurried away to the kitchen, dirty dishes in hand, Jack turned to Castiel.

“Castiel. Thank you again. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you there.”

“Yes, well, it was a team effort.”

His gaze kept lingering on Dean, who smiled and laughed as he talked on the phone.

“You need to tell them. Tell Dean.”

Castiel sighed. Dean’s eyes were wide open windows now. He remembered their kiss and wondered how that had happened just last night. Already, the memory was slightly fading, and he couldn’t refresh it. It was too dangerous. 

Painfully, he tore his eyes away from Dean and addressed Jack.

“I will. But not now. Not tonight.” 

Then, Dean came back and jovially slapped the table with his hand, his beer in the other.

“Always good to hear from Jody. Everyone’s doing alright. I let her know we are too.”

He tentatively reached his hand toward Castiel’s, but Cass quickly drew away and pretended he needed to scratch his face. 

Smile fading, Dean mustered up as much energy as he could and said, “Jack, help me get another round. Whatta ya say?”

“Yeah.” 

As the two left the library, Jack looked back. Castiel nodded and smiled, but inside he was breaking. 

That’s when Jack vowed he would find a way to stop The Empty from taking Castiel away. There is always a way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cue five more seasons 😂 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Let me know what you thought in the comments. Also let me know if I should continue this story!


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